Like slipping into an old Pair of Shoes – Despite choosing not to have the baby, Ginny was about to go through an extremely challenging life experience. The most important thing she required — the loving help of a family — would be absent.
“I felt very alone throughout my pregnancy, and was almost suicide-like,” she told me. “It was the one time in my life that I didn’t have the ability to see beyond 24 hours.”
Ginny was happy to have made it to another day with a new sunrise every morning. In the evening, she would be crying herself to sleep in a state of anxiety. Every person in her life was apathetic to her. She was a source of shame for her family, lost her boyfriend, and lowered her social standing in a nation where women who have never married are considered second-class citizens.
Her friends were also unsure of her. She was getting ready to become a mom when they went out to party. They were unable to understand her predicament and began to exclude her.
But she was certain that there was something wrong with the route she was on. While delivering, the nurse kept asking what time Ginny would like to take an epidural. She initially refused, but eventually, she took it as she began feeling sick.
On her aunt’s advice, Ginny was determined to give birth naturally. However, nobody had ever taught her how to get there. She carried her son as best she could; her mother was in the corner while she laboured.
It was difficult and much more challenging than she anticipated; however, she made it through it and was blessed with a beautiful son. “The birthing process has made me realize the importance of be loved,” she said, “to be surrounded by someone who will believe in you and defend you. It also showed how crucial it is to ensure that women are secure.
” This was only the beginning. Although she wasn’t aware at the time, the entire process, including the pain of childbirth, would eventually become a significant part of Ginny’s life. After giving birth, she returned to work as a secretary for the office and provided some stability, but it was not enough to satisfy her.
The job offered regular hours and allowed her to have the freedom to spend time with their son; however, the salary wasn’t great, and she was convinced that this wasn’t what the woman was meant to do to live her daily life. “I felt bored” she admitted.
“I didn’t think I could live like this for the remainder all my days.” However, she wasn’t going to abandon her dream. Despite the taboos about her situation, she was determined to be treated with respect and was not afraid to challenge convention to earn it.
In part out of curiosity and partially out of boredom, Ginny launched an online company informing mothers about the benefits of breastfeeding for their health. Ginny and her friends were raised with formula; consequently, only a few Singaporean mothers were aware of breastfeeding.
She offered T-shirts and other items that promoted breastfeeding awareness through her online store. She was aware of the benefits of breastfeeding her baby and decided to aid other mothers seeking more natural methods of caring for their children.
Even though she wasn’t an online shopper, this experience opened an entirely new world for her. Because she was working or looking after her son, most of her socializing was through the network of people she’d met on the Internet.
One of them, Amy, was an Australian Chinese woman who had succeeded Doula in Singapore. Since she was the sole Asian performing this type of work, people in Singapore believed in her. When conversing, Amy said something to Ginny that would alter her life.
“Ginny I think you’ll make the perfect Doula.” “What’s an actual doula?” I asked Ginny. “A birth coach,” she said, one who assists moms develop plans for how she will manage to have a baby.
When she learned this information, it took Ginny by surprise; in the past, she wasn’t aware of what a doula was. There was no doula at the time of her child’s birth, and she was unsure of the role of doulas. She said that if she decided to become a doula or not, attending the course would be an enjoyable experience. “I’ve always been a big fan of personal growth,
” Ginny told me. So she enrolled on the course and began taking in all the things doulas were trained to do. However, when it was time to give the first time she gave birth, Ginny did not know what she was supposed to be doing. She was panicked. Inhaling deeply,
Ginny allowed “her spirit control” and tried to stay focused and recall her lessons. She began by massaging her mother’s back. She reassured her during the trauma and assured her everything would be okay. It worked. The mother wasn’t expecting her first baby.
However, this was the first time having a baby with no drugs, and she was apprehensive. Afterwards, the mother was delighted and could credit Ginny for how comfortable she felt and how effortless to experience it was.
“It was thrilling,” Ginny recalled, “like slipping into the old shoes.” It was then that Ginny realized that she could accomplish this. After the first delivery, their best friend Amy left Singapore and returned to Singapore, just as mysteriously as she had walked into Ginny’s world in the first place.
This wasn’t the typical mentoring method; however, it was the type of training Ginny required. As we’ll see, this is the way it works.